Hold my hand and walk with me
I am an ordinary girl, very average, simplest of simple being. With all my short comings and imperfections, I am as honest as the Holy Scriptures. There is nothing unreal or secret about me.
“main ek khuli kitab hun”
“मैं एक खुली किताब हूँ”
Yes! You have to read between the lines. Every book has metaphors, phrases and synonyms. So does my life. I stress on being simple and ordinary. There is absolutely nothing special about me. No extras to make me extra ordinary.
There are dreams and hopes. Most of all I have an unsatisfied soul. There is a crave in me constantly searching for the eternal life. My mind tells me there is a lot I do not know. Funnily! I know what I don’t know. Just that I am unable to reach it.
My reason for writing these words is because many a times I am over estimated. I don’t know how many of you face the same?
For me it is not easy to cope up with expectations, expectations of others. My family, friends and many who know me personally believe that I am capable to achieve much more in life than I aim for. They believe I am not putting my cent percent. Many say I need to set higher goals and focus. That all I need to do is to put little more efforts and I will be where they expect me to be.
There are many others who advice me to improve. They tell me my faults and suggest for the scope for improvement.
I have tried many a times to follow other people. I have taken many advices seriously and worked as expected of me. I am still where I was. Maybe this is just me. I can be no better no less.
If you read closely you will see I am confused. Many a times the compliments I get are so frequent and intense that I doubt my true potential. I begin to visualise my self as a person with higher calibre. Hearing good things about myself makes me feel that others are true, may be I underestimate myself.
Here the problem is created. There is this simple me, ordinary me. The there is this extra ordinary me created by others. People come and go. Some say good things and few criticize. In the end I am felt confused and clueless of the reality.
I don’t like what my mind tells me. My mind is a spring of dreams and fanaticises. My mind is not from the real world so better I don’t think. I feel there is nothing special about me. I am honest and poor. As they say, “Behind every fortune there is a crime.” I am honest so I will be poor.
Don’t try to take advantage of my poverty. Don’t try to boost me with fake virtues for some selfish motive of yours. If you care, ‘Hold my hand and walk with me. Don’t try to drag me. Don’t try to stop me. Walk with me.’
Let me be what I am. I am happy and I am poor.
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